Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
