help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
