Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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