Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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