just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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