I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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