she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
