you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
