I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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