I met the friendliest cop last night
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
