i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
