I wanna passion pit in your ass
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
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