Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
