Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
