Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
