May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
