This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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