I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
