if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
