Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize