can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
