Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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