He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
