As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
