if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
