I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize