what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
