worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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