Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm sobbing to NWA
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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