yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
nutella sex= disaster
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
