At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Is it penis luge time yet?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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