this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Dick very happy bro
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
