trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Randomize
