Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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