dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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