Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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