so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
