I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
