At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize