What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
