is your mom at the bar?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
