She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
