After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
