i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
