They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
