i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
