I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
