Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
