Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
