This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
