i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
why is half of my head shaved?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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