Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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