You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
