so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
