These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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