Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
