I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
