So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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