I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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