proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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