soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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