I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
