in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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