I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
