I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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