The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
