Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
