pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
