she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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