People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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