I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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