"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
