Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
