so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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