i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Farmville is her only friend.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
